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::Native Jokes!::

THE BOX OF CHOCOLATES

A business woman was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, the business woman tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What's in bag?" asked the old woman.

"It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband."

"The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder she said.

"Good Trade."

***************

TELLING TIME

Q."So if an Indian looks at the sun to tell the time of day, how does he tell it at night?"
A. "He checks his watch!"

***************

FOLLOW THE 'TRACKS'

Two Lakota guys and a dude from New York are on a hunting trip.

On the first day, one Lakota goes out, and less than an hour later returns with a deer.

The guy from New York is blown away. "How did you get your deer so fast?!"

"Easy" says the Lakota guy, "I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and got my deer."

The next day the second Lakota guy goes out, and less than an hour later returns with a deer.

The guy from New York is blown away again, just flabbergasted. "How did you get YOUR deer so fast?!"

"It's simple" says the Lakota guy, "I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and there was the deer."

On the third day, the New York guy goes out. He doesn't return, and when darkness begins to fall, the two Lakota guys go looking for him.

They found him lying at the base of a hill, banged up, clothes torn, and bones broken.

"What happened to you?" they asked.

"I did just what you told me to do. I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and then the train ran me over!"

***************

CIRCLE FLIES

An old Navajo sheep herder was hauling a load of manure, when he was stopped
by a state trooper.

"You were speeding," said the cop. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Yep," said the Navajo, as he watched the cop shoo away several flies.

"These flies are terrible," the cop complained.

"Yep," the Navajo said. "Them are circle flies."

"What are circle flies?" said the cop.

"Them flies that circle a horse's butt," the Navajo said. "Them are circle flies."

"You wouldn't be calling me a horses butt, would you?" the trooper angrily said.

"Nope, I didn't," the Navajo said. "But you just can't fool them flies.

***************

The Dog and the stretchers

Once, many years ago there was an old Native man who had the best coon hunting dog the world had ever seen. A newspaper reporter for a big Chicago newspaper had heard of this amazing dog, and went to the man for an interview, and to see this dog firsthand.

Upon arriving at the old man's home, the reporter saw various raccoon hides hanging on stretchers. He approached the fellow, and struck up a conversation.

"Tell me how your dog would hunt raccoons?"

"Oh, that dog, good coon dog! All I had to do was show him a stretcher, and he'd go out and find the perfect raccoon to fit that stretcher!"

"Really?" asked the reporter, "So, where is this dog? I'd really like to meet him!"

The poor old man shook his head. "You can't! My wife brought the ironing board outside one day, the dog saw it, and I haven't seen him since!"

Submitted by: Whiteflower
Pennsylvania

*****************

"The faster you go...."

An old Indian man was driving his buckboard wagon and team back from Rapid City to the reservation, and a city fellow with a big ol' Cadillac drove past. A little bit down the road, the curious city fellow drove back to the old Indian fellow.

"Hey, old man! Isn't it really hot out there, driving in the sun? It's got to be at least 100 degrees out there!"

The Indian man replied, "Yeah, real hot. That's why I'm letting the team walk. Isn't it hot in that car with the windows rolled up?"

The city man thought for awhile, and was contemplating telling the Indian man about air conditioning, but figured the Indian was too stupid to figure it out. Instead, he told the Indian, "No, it's really cool in here. The faster you go, the cooler it gets!"

The old Indian fellow shook his head, and kept on towards the reservation. The city man drove off. The old Indian man couldn't get over the notion, the faster you go, the cooler it gets.

After a while, he whipped the team into a trot. It didn't seem to be getting any cooler. After a mile or so, he whipped them up into a canter. Again, it wasn't getting any cooler! He kept going over the city man's words "the faster you go, the cooler it gets". Finally, he whipped his team into a full blown gallop. Not more than half a mile down the road, the team fell over, dead. The old Indian got off of the buckboard, walked over to the horses, kicked one in the snout, and grumbled, "Hum...musta died from frostbite!"

Submitted by: Whiteflower
Pennsylvania

Little Big Fart

There was this Indian chief who was straining to blow a fart but it wouldn't come out.

So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, ''Big chief, no fart.''
The doctor gives him a can of beans and tells him to come back tomorrow to tell him what happened.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ''Big chief, no fart.''

The doctor gives him 10 cans of beans this time.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ''Big chief, no fart.''

The doctor gives him 100 cans of beans.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ''Big chief, no fart.''

The doctor gives him 10,000 cans of beans and says, ''If this doesn't work then nothing will.''

The messenger boy comes back the next day and looks at the doctor.
The doctor anxiously asked, ''Well, did it work?''
The messenger boy says, ''Big fart, no chief!"

Thanks to: Whiteflower
Pennsylvania


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